This is the first time anything like this has ever happened so I feel upset that he would jump straight to getting a divorce. I just wish I could get over my own feelings. sent pictures to each other we talked and chatted I lost the baby in April of 2013. She didnt seem to care, said no she wasnt taking me, and just seemed angry and detached. We were both becoming distant and have both attempted to break up with each other but could not as we both still truly care for each other. It wasnt until this month that I realized I had lost him. What can I do to convince her to take a chance with me? But I also told her that I will fight tooth and nail to keep our marriage together. Then I didnt tell you the good part the co worker,my husband and myself all work at the same place. 3 years later Ive kept it to myself and never told him. I do love him. Ive constantly prayed for God to free me from that relationship because I knew it wasnt healthy for me & I didnt need to betray my spouse in that manner. Then he told me , he really didnt and that he didnt feel any urges to talk or anything. I am also thinking that he and his parents are the only people who gave you love and care. My question is how long does it normally take? This is a terribly sad and painful experience in your life that will take time to heal from. The relationship didnt end up with me stalking her or hating her and I think thats a sign of maturity. And it kept getting more and more frequent. Weve been having problems for the last year or more. I truly am sorry for the way I treated her and I never want to hurt get like that again. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, 2.5 years long distance. She was spending most of her free time with her friends instead of with me. I wanted to leave him for good considering all that has happened but I didnt have the strength to leave. He is a musician and loves to perform on stage with his band. I said no you come in. This crushed me of course and I was miserable all summer. Hi IDK Then last Thursday we went to therapy for the first time in weeks. We have been there only two weeks and he tells me he doesnt love me anymore and will be moving into an apartment. He should have THANKED you for teaching him a valuable life lesson: dont be abusive. Now since his arrest I had the day before kicked him out of my apartment because I did not want to go through it again even though I love him with all my heart I gave him my whole heart I cannot continue to go through this with him he needs to do this on his own. Please help me, Give him some space ask him if he is happier around somebody else maybe he has love for his ex that he doesnt have for u but u have to ask to find out you are lucky that u have him around to talk with cuz the man I love doesnt even want to talk he just plain out says leave me alone dont talk to me. We both still love each other immensely. Start by what you tell YOURSELF: I am a wonderful person. I never felt so much respect and care from a male in my life. He has cheated on me each year weve been together and then some. that feels great. What can I do to get her back? after having the baby the arguments continued because he spends most of his time away from home . My husband knows about it and has completely forgiven me. My family loves her and still dont know were apart. This is provided he is willing to go in that direction. You should go to AlAnon to learn more, too. Started doing activities with them and really enjoying myself. That will not work. Good luck. perhaps even for the first time. He calls my sister and tells her he really loves me, but I didnt treat him right. But now i have to suffer. It just is. I initiated the movejust to see her for the first time in 9 months. But this means that you become vulnerable. He has walked away from all of them. Usually this will happen when the couple comes from homes of abuse, neglect, abandonment, or unpredictability. For 10 months of 2014 we visited marriage counselors & a psychologist trained in the respective fields to help us both lovely good-hearted women who attempted to help us through into healing. I am 4 months pregnant. She said she still loves me but does not want anything to do with me anymore. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I wasnt nice at all, no name calling, I just let her know I thought she was a fake. Things seemed great but I didnt see my husband slowly moving emotionally away from me. Keep trying. Ex: he takes his clothes off when he walks in and just leaves them, he drinks something and just leaves it there, getting him to take out the trash is not worth it I do it 99% of the time, he doesnt feel the need to keep himself up so that I am attracted to him and im talking about something as simple as a haircut here not going to the gym and turning his beer gut into abs. But Im trying and Im fighting for our relationship and it seems to me at this point, that hes not. I sincerely hope you dont mind I posted a link to TEDH article. Calls started at around 6:30am & continued throughout each working day until 8:00pm when I would be at a dance-exercise group. So, kids or not, maybe that is who he is. She also suffers from depression so I wonder if thats whats wrong? Or keep trying ? Well i was bored one evening/afternoon. He slowly opened back up to me and after 4 months I got a I love you from him, which frankly shocked me into speechlessness. And later when I called i said to him that I hope that one day he can forgive me. Being disrespectful is not putting on the table what is bothering you. Is it a lack of listening? I told him how hurt I was and that he violated my building trust for him, shattered it actually. I decided to lock away my feelings for this time period, crying or feeling sorry for myself wouldnt help my marriage. But these messages must come out. But we seemed to make up everytime. All good. It's ours now! He recently started to try again but my love is not there. She doesnt want someone who blows up or who is anxious or who isnt comfortable with who they are. Hi drDeb could you please give me advice on my story that I wrote. And that's all how it all really works". Thank you DrDeb. 3. I feel like Im really losing him if he doesnt feel as crazy for me like he did before. But then I met my husband. She is being really adamant about not forgiving herself. But its very hard to get through the flagellation to get there. Now we are trying to mend but he wont let me go back home. She is the one, the person I want to grow old with. He was afraid he still had feelings for his ex, and wanted to work through them before we moved further with our relationship. We might need help to get through. We have 1 child together and we have another child who I consider my own because was only 6 months old when we started dating. You need to look nice and be comfortable in the clothes you are wearing because you have to be yourself throughout the date. Hes doing things for me that hes never done. He started to distance himself from me, which made me cling even more in desperation. eg, saving $ for the future if he didnt before. Im lost and Im dying inside. We were both very much in love. Hi dr, Im so deeply in love with a guy I meet online, but we never met yet personal, because we are staying in different provinces. I have begged him for his attention for years. I would really appreciate some advise. and i want to control my voice and i am working on getting the ralionship withhis family to be better too. He has also been having mental health issues as recently wanted to kill himself and has little self worth. I got pregnant again in September and lost that on in November:(! Im giving him another chance and the ball is in his court but its like hes not even trying to bite at the opportunity. 7 months into the relationship he confessed he is really into me and that he could say he love me. I also am interested in how to move through counseling by addressing this with my husband. We broke up. I checked over mine, marking whos numbers Id called & turned to his; working back from the previous month. He pushes everyone away, has no friends and been hurt before. He said I had to work on me, and to not focus on him. again? last year we had his nan staying with us, i dont work at the moment due to illness, and his nan raised him from being a child had terminal cancer and needed care, so i had her here and i cared for her went through all the chemo and pain and sadness with her. I have not let go of the good him and thats what I been holding on to I know what he is now and i have so many emotions and I feel like I can save him or should I say my heart tells me to save him and my mind knows he is gone I hate that Im in this situation and my family has cut me off for marrying him and Im ashamed to talk about it to my friends around me but they know heroin is really bad in ky right now and they ask me all time why is he always loaded Im just trying to get mentally unwind from him and I just exploding on the inside. The problem is this new life makes me feel anxious and insecure. If youre looking for a counselor that practices a specific type of therapy, or who deals with specific concerns, you can make an advanced search by clicking here: https://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html. Several years later he was talking to my son and said that he saw a girl he had gone to school with and had he known she would end up looking like that. Maybe she needs individual therapy to get to know herself better and respect her own feelings better. We broke up for 4-5 months at the beginning of this year and I was hurt and I slept with someone. He said the normalcy of our relationship after this all happened allowed resentment to grow and grow over time, especially during the holidays when I was acting like everything was well and good. Then, he would still defend himself and bring up how HE was hurt when I left to Peru. There is no more time for compromise its either stay or go. Im going to cousiling and doing eveything he asked me to do to change . I have been with my bf for almost 2 years. We agreed at the start that it was just going to be casual and if either of us caught feelings we would walk away. I believe it because I made this girl who she is. After betraying his trust three times he agreed to try a last time as what we had was so amazing. Im willing to do whatever it takes to gain back her trust and respect. I hope that he will come around as well and will see how selfish he was which he has admitted but I guess I should not push the issue of wanting to be with him still because it will only drive him away more. I realize now I pushed him to do some things he did not want to do and did not respect or consider him like I should have. Man that sounds identical to my story for the most part. Please go together to see a couples counselor. He broke up with me while he was overwhelmed trying to take care of me. Hi Uncertain, Im pretty young 23 and so is my boyfriend, well, ex. So to see this is heartbreaking. When I got out I asked him what I had to do, I didnt want him to give up on me, on us. Dont let them get away with their hurtful behavior. he says i should find someone who appreciates me, he admits hes still very much sexually attracted to me and everything? We have been together for 5 yrs how do i get him to fall in love with me again? Try also to work to support yourself and finish school. Talking dirty to each other and sending nude pictures back and forth. When you fall into this trap again, remind yourself, I am a good person! But he is not willing to forgive me and one more chance to our marriage. I made him try to do everything for me. I hate it, I do not know how to fix it anymore. 9 months the most part I would be at a dance-exercise group, remind yourself, I just her. Finish school first time in weeks help my marriage other and sending nude back. We are trying to bite at the start that it was just going to cousiling and doing eveything asked. 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