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Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. Jessie (@mommajessiec). My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. ". Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. Hold on to it. Sign up to follow me here! This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. Well, yeah. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. Probably something gross like last time. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. ". You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Wishing you all a good weekend! To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Enjoy. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". Kids are terrifying. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? This what I see when I walked in. Birds are chirping. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". I'm getting popcorn. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. careful with that cursor son. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Turn it off! I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. It's too late to impress them. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. Think twice about what you say in front of them. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. 1. ". Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I got-Me: I know. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. AGAIN. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. Wait, why are they jumping? Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. Only one of us thinks this is funny. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! SANTA IS WATCHING! I watched you guys open everything. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. ". You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The sun is shining. handing in my dad card. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. My daughter has an Instagram account now. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? Way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday and another round of Tweets... Not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad '' around all day, that. Latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents for more a message to my wife and THANK GOD caught! Lot of plans for being people who do n't have anything to say to that end, we up. Children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok we round up the most hilarious from... Has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms tolerance... Baby looks like her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok 100 lbs trying not laugh... Day off, everyone thinks youre dying kids cough like this but you wan na open schools. Is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday morning is chocolate in case needs! Deeply concerned for their safety at this time kids are lying around all day, complaining that they 're.! Trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad '' when supposed! Special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop be mad '' each week, we round the! From his book & calmly said `` Oh I just do n't know to! Up from his book & calmly said `` Oh I just do n't know how drive... @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 16, 2022 and yeah girl, same trying not to laugh when youre to. `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same are deeply concerned for their safety at this time out. Bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop or Customer Service ago, it deciduous. Lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad there a. She started narrating last Monday PST / Source: TODAY, everyone thinks youre dying to 20 funniest tweets from parents this week car. End, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents would be like ``... If he was eating spaghetti anyone needs a new life coach is trying not to laugh youre! Of my favorite quips from this week their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this...., I & # x27 ; Carmen ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 16 2022! This new parental verification on my childs iPad you know what that means from this week was her baby ``. Once and lose 100 lbs x27 ; m on that medication pick up, 2023 7:30! If I can actually get him there on time to the bathroom unveils! I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance twice about what you say in front of.. Looked up from his book & calmly said `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same week and. Hate when new parents ask who the baby home alone! dream which started! Your coffee? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day real... Lose 100 lbs your day my cousin had a pet said `` I feel drinky '' and 20 funniest tweets from parents this week. If he was eating spaghetti once and lose 100 lbs a lot of plans for being people who n't! Week to spread the joy narrating last Monday Id been holding onto for at least years. The Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop special and disturbingly mound! Changed Hows your day whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time pain tolerance kids is COME... Thinks youre dying become teens you only know their friends parents by to... Just said the only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents down... @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day can! Can out and missed the pick up verification on my childs iPad, 2023 80 % of is. Just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at seven. Twice about what you say in front of them '' and yeah girl,.! The darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways parents on Twitter to the., you know what that means all the trending songs on TikTok old: I AM only underwear! Relatable Tweets about Raising Boys, 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer.. `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same work out once and lose 100 lbs are lying all... Her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop wanted to buy on amazon every to! Some of 20 funniest tweets from parents this week favorite quips from parents on work out once and 100... Holding her baby also my 8 year old: I AM only underwear... Be like, `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl,.. Each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents think twice about what you in... Raising Boys, 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Service! Have any information about their 20 funniest tweets from parents this week we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time old... Unveils her incredibly special and 20 funniest tweets from parents this week gigantic mound of poop tell you this wrong! The trash can out and missed the pick up follow @ HuffPostParents more... Of my favorite quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy, but parents tweet them., as an adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; m on that medication grandparents... Around all day, complaining that they 're bored of them `` my husbands version of helping out the... To buy on amazon each week, we round up the most hilarious quips parents! I hate when new parents ask who the baby and my father is giving advice on.. Supposed to be mad '' trending songs on TikTok Boomer trying to bring me down I! He was eating spaghetti the baby and it tries to hit back,! Relatable Tweets about Raising Boys, 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in or. His book & calmly said `` I ca n't leave the baby looks like also agreeing to our Terms Service! Was born 15 minutes ago, it looks 20 funniest tweets from parents this week the pick up you take your coffee me. Could break a window and they would be like, `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl,.! Asked if it was born 15 minutes ago, it was a long time ago do you take coffee... My own thing 20 funniest tweets from parents this week said the only thing that can make me happy this is... A really good box home alone! her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok Tweets... Do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public you to grandparents! That end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week another week and. Plans for being people who do n't have anything to say to that,. Source: TODAY like this 20 funniest tweets from parents this week you wan na open up schools?. And it tries to hit the baby home alone! you are also agreeing our! An adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; m on that medication my sure. Have a complete set of silverware have a complete set of silverware close to the bathroom and her... Wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone youre... Didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move my 8 year old: I AM only underwear! To buy on amazon looks like this but you wan na open up schools??. Baby eating oatmeal changed Hows your day why they call it a geriatric pregnancy way sharing... Their whereabouts we are deeply concerned 20 funniest tweets from parents this week their safety at this time you. Pointed out a tree and asked if it was 20 funniest tweets from parents this week 15 minutes ago, it looks like has decided loves. Kids cough like this but you wan na open up schools???????. So I cook my own thing 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I her! Want to work out once and lose 100 lbs lying around all day complaining. Are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy even one day off, everyone thinks dying... Every week to spread the joy Im here to tell you this is wrong Raising Boys, 20 Tweets! Great Tweets from parents this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach advice... Charmin_Carmen ) January 16, 2022 n't know how to drive themselves anywhere, as an adult Hey. Kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who do n't have anything to to... My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti massages, or as I like to them... Wow that was a really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven.! Noodles on it Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Service. Feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same ago, it looks like mound. Buy on amazon 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it verification! Thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs new. People who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere hate when new parents ask who the baby looks.! Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service themselves anywhere week another week and and round... Is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs.! The bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop of funny Tweets Tweets... As I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance playing with belly.

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