I know its hard but no one is entitled to hurt others. We could never finish a single conversation. He took off today for a few days, wouldnt tell me where he is going, and Im going crazy. I was supposed to meet her in her hometown (2hrs drive for me) and that got cancelled the same day because of Covid-related reasons. I'm so glad I ran across this blog post. Its just really sad and scary and hard. I wish everyone well, get out as soon as you can. I'll discuss anything, and when I know change is coming, I'll get into gear for it. They tell a lot when they get mad. If you want to try with him again he will most likely not comply, but If he is stop open to it you will need to chill out, do not be critical of him in any way, do not ask for anything, do not pressure him to do activities, do not contact him unless its to offer him something of comfort, and everything has to seem like his idea so pose things you want in a way that will allow him to come to his own conclusions. I feel embarrassed and stupid for what Im tolerating but I am so in love and so hopeful. If I try to talk to him he walks out of the room. It was just the totality of feeling taken for granted and unappreciated. Not sure what you said is ASD. Praying for hope and healing. I'm willing to take baby steps to restore the relationship, but if he isn't going to budge or even talk about how he feels, then it seems pointless. I really do. If you cannot runchildren..healthfinancial then forge a life without them in it. I love this article and it resonates so much. Protective order in place. I had this for 12 years it is hell, she was oblivious to the pain she was causing and thought it totally acceptable not to talk to me for weeks and sometimes months. I loved his hyper focus on me. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. He on the other hand after giving me years of the silent treatment, treating me with contempt on and off, mainly off, mood swings, temper tantrums, has found his newly setup business has thrived in lockdown and rented himself a beautiful house and moved all his stuff out and ended our relationship saying we would be both better off with someone else! Hes my absolute everything and my whole life and future is with him. He had surgery and couldn't go out for a while, he got laid off, he had a bit of a cancer scare, we went on lots of trips, and I was there for him when these all happened. He chose to sit in a bar and drink to excess every night. I'm guessing they do most of the talking and initiative, such as inviting you to places, etc, you feel left out and not in control so your interest may simply die out. I went through a lot of silent treatments and neglect but whats worse is that he cheated on me. He constantly will just get dressed and leave and then come back surprised I got worried about him. Since then he pulled away and been mia for a week. Leave him be..for nowstop thinking about what he is doing or thinking. I deal constantly with snide behaviour and short remarks. And I do it right back so he understands how cruel it is. Once the Lovebombing phase overbe prepared for WAR! Again I said that I would talk if they would stop yelling. I would be honoured to share my story if it helps in any form. Be prepaared to lose yoursself if you choose to stay. If I get near him he storms off. Tell me if you have overcome your situation n tell me what are you doing to help yourself and the situation. I am disappointed at you because you hurt me and I refuse to discuss the concerns becuase I struggle with me putting others first. I was completely caught if guard and told him he wasnt making any sense. hes checked into a hotel and has told me its for peacof mind and to think of only him self for a change. Yes, its true that they give up very easily and run, when we would hang in there and work it through. The day after our wedding my aspie announced that he didnt really want to be married and that he made a mistake. Ive been feeling like Im going mad with frustration. The relationship will fail if you think that "dropping hints" or describing your needs in vague terms is enough to get your point across. wow it sounds like Im reading about my self. Its been a month already. Only when he has some sort of an emotional meltdown his goes silent. Ive done so much research on line and his father had it pretty badly and his older son has been diagnosed. He would talk about general stuff (like how is he doing), but never about relationship where I wanted to talk about how we can work things out. That made sense. Its a disappointment issue. every task I ask for help with stresses him out , and got forbid I make a list of things to do. I pointed out that we hadnt talked in three months and he agreed that was the case. When he does see me he can't take he's eyes off me, smiling and blushing like a child and he's in he's 50's. They repeat what they covet everyday. I of course begged, pleated and apologized because of my abandonment issues to no avail. Thats what the next Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD video conference is about. In your formative years, you do very little time management and it's usually your parents who set alarms and cajole you out of bed, harass you into getting dressed, slog through the breakfast routine, push you into the car and drop you off at school. Aspie find it hard to verbalise and speak in logic. If anyone is ND and reading this could they kindly shed some light. Aspies tend to be more literal, routine-oriented, and may need more alone time. I was making conversation in an IM and he took it as an insult. I have no idea what hes doing or thinking. He hasnt spoken to me for over 2 weeks now.comes home late.sleeps on sofa.goes to work early. Sometimes when I find I click with someone and they want to become friends or more I get nervous. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Good luck!! Once the lovebombing phase is overbecause its way too much for thembe prepared for the mask to slip..see the truth. Well discuss: How to recognize the abuse. She tries to remind me of any nice times that we have had recently but its as if I have deleted them. They are very good at lying when it comes to not getting into trouble. At home, they werent trying as hard anymore. I am sending up a prayer to all of you on this blog. I don't expect him to provide for me or anything like that, I have always been good with money so I have a lot saved up for when I go back to school, but he spends every cent on video games and nonsense. Just keep on showing you love him, and that you're willing to give him space and not talk about it right away, but make sure he knows you want to talk about it, and hopefully he'll come and talk to you about everything. He lives in a different city doesnt help. So with an Aspie, they will look apon anyone who they cannot understand as being a disappointment. He seems completely shut down. I feel like my life is passing me by. Dear Rosh, Im in the exact same situation. I think anything before that was just "strong attraction" or a crush. But that doesnt mean I will love every choice she makes. I missed the boat on a more successful life for myself. However he still has not responded in any way and Im in a constant state of anxiety as I cant help feeling rejected. I am looking for a little advice since he is my first boyfriend of 2 years now and I never had real advice as to how I can help him out for my particular circumstance. Offer help and tell that person you are there for them, etc. When the Aspie shuts down, we must be VERY c l e a r and basic in our terms. She has blocked me from every conceivable method of contact and is fully supported in this effort by my ex husband, Howard (also autistic). When any of my friends are going away, I'll shoot them a text to tell them to have fun. I wish I would have yielded to the red flags and told him, NO! My husband has Aspergers, but its not excusable that he blasts me for being old, ugly and fat. Look in the mirror and adsk You if you are happyx. No matter what he does for me or buys me.he throws it back at me. Its a difficulty, not an excuse. Not respecting boundaries. Especially when I am tired and can get very emotional. How do I know if this guy loved me? And finally, as for the devastating Experience i Know what you mean and i'm with you. It ripped me in pieces from the inside out as how do you try and resolve an issue when she wont talk about it, even to the point where phone calls were not answered or just repeatedly hung up on. They dispose of people. I explained this but like all other NTs she didnt understand and assumed I was exaggerating. You cannot meet them. So embarrassing. It's been a long time since you posted so I hope you are no longer with him. He has said that he wants to have children with me but then has also been on dating sites. AND IT FEELS GREAT! These robots are programmed different to othet people. I tried to cuddle and he would always have an excuse to not get physically together: stuffed from dinner, not comfortable position in the couch. Whatever the reason, the aspie change resistance kicks in. I did ask him if he had Aspergers and thats when all the blocking happened. Be kind to You. Hed either change the topic or try to distract me by doing something nice. I just cant carry on like this.. I had stupid stupid argument when my aspie fiancee was lecturing me on how to do something and showed (as usual) no concern for the stress I was under at the time. How did the marriage get arranged? I tried calling a couple times and his phone would go straight to voicemail. If you are please check out the power and control wheel and see if there are any groups on healthy/unhealthy relationships in your area.his behaviour sounds emotionally abusive. I suffer with panic attacks and anxiety and feel like my feelings are invalid and completely alone when he triggers me. I say this because it is clear that he is wrong this time. Totally selfish behavior that only revolves around his needs. Its work, it doesn't come natural, so while its something we desire its work basically. This is the second time he has left the relationship even through he has said on many occasions that he wont find anyone better then me. I left the house and the day I was moving and finishing packing my bags he was casually asking me what should he put in his smoothie, asking about food properties and pretending everything was ok. At first he didnt want this break but then agreed that it would be good for us given the constant tension we were living with. He does not want to be tested. I remember thinking now this is living. If the Aspie goes silent, we need to make them aware that this is a form of abuse and clearly explain that you will no longer be available to support them until they get support and they need. Also, remember that any normal person could act crazy or develop anxiety when subjected to passive aggression, hot and cold behavior for too long, dont be hard on yourself for being a human. You had a purpose, and the purpose was to prove your love and devotion. He was to me. Why does the Aspie always get the blame? Once at school, you're at the mercy of the timetable but apart from getting the right books to the right classes on time. We admit we do not know what NT's mean by 'love', especially as NTs are so duplicit or at least fickle. We where only married six months we had no sex and he never cared for hugging kissing or any other romance any help would do older woman older man. That's relating - we don't all live in a bubble. My wife and I are having a difficult time and I want to talk to her about it and work on things but she shuts me out. She then invited me to a party outside of work. I read a book a few years ago on "sociopaths in the workplace" and I was stunned by the figures. Husband is a diagnosed level 1 Aspergers about 4 years ago . Wow. You could relate, and the past injustices against your new love caused you such intense anger and heartbreak. Ive mentioned counselling before. 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