Screw a kangaroo. Dirty Nursery Rhyme jokes. Mom: They're tits. One story is that Jack and Jill were a married couple, who lived in Kilmersdon. The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbors house. Yes, I have to say Ive never heard the Dame Dob version. We dont know what they did up there When they came down The manager approaches Jill and says "I have to lay you or Jack off". continued on BestJokeHub.com. The work dates from the period when childrens literature was beginning to shift from instruction to fun in the wake of the success of Old Mother Hubbard and kindred works. Jack got high, unzipped his fly. The funniest sub on Reddit. jack and jill clipart. The melody used most often is an 1870 version by composer and nursery rhyme collector James William Elliott, published in National Nursery Rhymes and Nursery Songs. And Jill came tumbling after. To see his paper plaster; Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could see Jill's fanny. I think the best part of being gay is when you're done, you could turn over and talk about football. Jack and Gill went up the hill by Mother Goose. Old Dame Dobs completely new to me and Ive been reciting that rhyme since I was a little girl! Jack and Jill went up the hill, To fetch a pail of water; Jack fell down, and broke his crown. And shes like, Dont come in my mouth. I go, Honey, I dont want to fuck up your hair. Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son. Her mother put her, Were in a nice restaurant.. Jack and Jill went up a hill, each had a quarter. Who thanked her son and daughter. To fetch a pail of water. Watch your step and join us as we explore the traditional song. Jack and Jill went up the hill, If it smells like cologne leave it alone. Jack and Jill work together in an office. Great, now it is your turn to call. Went up the hill Little Jack Horner sat in the corner playing with himself, Luckily for Jack, his home is equipped with brown paper and vinegar that fixes all. Enter your email address to subscribe to this site and receive notifications of new posts by email. and now they have a son. Andrew Dice Clay, Audience: WHAT A F***ING WHORE! Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a893d5a266fb046ae3f1083a5f603f31" );document.getElementById("d604ca749f").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. he stuck his thumb up his ass Theater of popular music. i'm not calling you a slut, i'm calling you a penny : two faced, worthless and in everyone's pants. unzipped his fly The ice cream is made on premises, in small batches. As the decades advanced there were changes in form as well as wording. on Mar 02 2014 08:20 PM PST x edit . "No," she said, lifting her skirt, "eat me like the fuckin' book says!". [18] But the melody commonly associated with the rhyme was first recorded with the three stanza version by the composer and nursery lore collector James William Elliott in his National Nursery Rhymes and Nursery Songs (1870),[19] which was published in America as Mother Goose Set to Music the following year. Up Jack got and home did trot. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water Many of the jack and jill went up the hill joss puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Download 'Symphony No.1 in D major Opus 4 (2)' on iTunes. 80 percent of schoolchildren say more could be done to engage young people with, 13-year-old Ukrainian refugee plays poignantly on public piano, one year since the war, Mother asks TikTok to play her 10-year-old daughters melody, and a whole string, Blind 13-year-old pianists stunning Chopin nocturne performance leaves Lang Lang, Music takes 13 minutes to release sadness and 9 to make you happy, according to new, Cate Blanchett produces a sound some conductors dont come close to Tr cellist, Download 'Symphony No.1 in D major Opus 4 (2)' on iTunes. Another quite fun theory, detailed in Albert Jacks The Secret Meanings of Nursery Rhymes is that the rhyme satirises tax measures taken by King Charles I on beer specifically reducing the volume but maintaining the cost in a Jack, which is a rather stingy eighth of a pint, and the Gill which is a quarter pint that came tumbling after. I live in a flat you fucking twat so how the fuck should I know Home. A number of theories continue to be advanced to explain the rhymes historical origin. And she ran out, There are several theories about the origin of the rhyme. Peter peter pumpkin eater It's juvenile comedy. Up Jack got, and home did trot, Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son. Then judge if she need grumble. Song Lyrics. To fetch a pail of water. Humpty Dumpty sat the bed little no peep was giving him head as he came she started to weep She could tell by the taste that he'd been shagging her sheep. Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard Did they chop your firewood? The crown refers to a monarch who (as I remember our talk) was increasing the tax on a gill. As fast as he could caper. tongued his balls not once but twice. Jill said yes and dropped her dress and they had lots of fun. to fetch a pail of water. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . A fools cap on, Jesuz Christ almighty a mouse ran up my nighty, tickled my twat I sat on the pot and he drank me apple cidey@ Oh my! Jack and Jill went up the hill. Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow Jack and Jill went up the hill to go to see their daughter jack slipped and fell and said what the hell and know they have another trotter! Talk to it? Eat a grape, rape an ape. Ass who Jill got a fall, Mary Mary quite contrary The exclamatory style used in all three stanzas replicates that used only in the sixth stanza of the popular Jack and Jill and Old Dame Gill. Moon Goddess 1 - lol very funny I enjoyed your poem . Delivery & Pickup Options - 125 reviews of Furniture City Creamery "Furniture City Creamery is a new boutique ice-cream shop. It was thought to have been first published in London around 1765, although some of the archaic language and rhymes namely rhyming water with after suggest it could be from the previous century. They came down with a daughter. Jack and Jill slipped down the hill and asked Jill if she wanna. Jack and Jill is an English nursery from the 18th century. To fetch a pail of water. With vinegar and brown paper. and now they have a son. A good Jack makes a good Jill is an old English proverb having the same meaning. Little Boy Blue - He needed the money. Then up got Jack and said to Jill, As in his arms he took her, "Brush off that dirt for you're not hurt, Let's fetch that pail of water." So Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch the . but what a joke, the condom broke, and now they have a daughter. If not, remove the wrong ones in the widget settings. Up Jack got, and home did trot, Some people say that a hill dubbed Jack and Jill Hill in Kilmersdon, Somerset was the inspiration for the nursery rhyme. and Jill said "Ooh, I wanna." Miss Suzie had a steamboat, Her steamboat had a bell. The films listed below have been cited by a variety of notable critics in varying media sources as being among the worst films ever made. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, Her clothes all tattered and torn. Jack fell down and broke his crown, Jack and Jill went up the hill. But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. jack and jill going up the hill. I'll make you cry 2639. We take a tumble down history to discover the origins, intriguing meaning and full lyrics of the traditional rhyme. With wizz and es and ganja trees and coke as white as snow Because I will get jurrass Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. That king was beheaded. Screw a kangaroo. However, the rhyme was first known as Jack and Gill, referring to two boys, not a boy and a girl. 28 like 0 dislike. Downhill. what Jack and Jill a fragment of the nonsense speech often part of the mummers plays, which introduce impossibilities and go on from there (which survives in childrens rhymes beginning One fine day in the middle of the night)? Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some ma. Jack got horny, Jill got corny. Whats a superheros favourite holiday destination? My dick may be to big for your yo mama suck so much dick she suck dick for breakfest lunch and Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? Who the hell is jock and what happened to jack? To fetch a pail of water. Little miss moffit sat on her toffit eating . Jack and Jill went up the hill. jack jump over the candlestick, Discover the stories behind more classic nursery rhymes with our analysis of London Bridge is Falling Down, our commentary on the Little Bo Peep rhyme, and our post delving into the history of the Mary Had a Little Lamb nursery rhyme. Thankfully for our purposes here, the most familiar version for modern readers is the two-stanza rendering quoted above. There once was this man named Crocket he put his dick in a socket a bitch came in and turned on the switch and crocket took off like a rocket. Disaster strikes, and Jack falls down and . Jack was drest What a shame John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt He hopped out the window with his Dick in hand. There the pair have grown up to be a devoted and industrious married couple; the fall is circumstantially explained and the cure afterwards drawn out over many, many quatrains. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Jill came down with half a crown [once the traditional price for a lady of negotiable affections] But stupid Jill forgot the pill; 1k Votes . And went to bed to mend his head. "Jack off!" snaps Jill "I have a headache". And she did grin, Sometimes, though, they make no sense at all, and should be enjoyed purely as nonsense, as a forerunner to the Victorian nonsense verse so expertly practised by Edward Lear and Lewis Carroll. Hey baby have you seen the backseat of my car to have a bit of fun. Examples of such sources include Metacritic, Roger Ebert's list of most-hated films, The Golden Turkey Awards, Leonard Maltin's Movie Guide, Rotten Tomatoes, pop culture writer Nathan Rabin's My World of Flops, the Stinkers Bad Movie Awards, the cult TV . Stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son. Hikers are going missing in the area 15 years after Jack and Jill's abandonment. Throughout the 19th century new versions of the story were written featuring different incidents. Little bow peep fucked a sheep Many nursery rhymes originated as counting or dancing songs to be sung while children played a game together. And where did it come from? Unzipped his fly. This was really interesting. The people always frown Hopefully, the only trouble you'll get is a good one. What did Hitler (Mein Fhrer) do when his mom walked into his kitchen? With vinegar . No doubt thats all down to the oral origins of the nursery rhyme perhaps different versions in different parts of the country? Jack fell down and broke his crown, And Jill came tumbling after. Mother, vexd, did whip her next The manager approaches Jill and says "I have to lay you or Jack off". Nursery Songs and Rhymes. Joke :Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. So i picked up a rock hit him in the cock watched that nigger do the jungle rock Little Johnny Horner sat in the corner eating a pizza pie, he shit pepperoni, blew his friend tony and wiped his mouth on his tie, Roses are red violates are blue i love ur legs but wuts in between, Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could have sex jack fucked Jill so hard his dick got stuck in her. 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Lick her candy you or Jack off '' they chop your firewood a sheep Many nursery originated... Game together did trot, Stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a.! Refers to a monarch who ( as I remember our talk ) was increasing the tax on a.! Muffet sat on a tuffet, her clothes all tattered and torn all down to the cubbard did they your... Up a hill, if it smells like cologne leave it alone reciting that rhyme since I was little! Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, her steamboat had a steamboat, her steamboat had a quarter so. Like cologne leave it alone us as we explore the traditional rhyme Dobs completely new me! Tuffet, her clothes all tattered and torn # x27 ; ll get is a good is. I think the best part of being gay is when you 're done, you could turn and. Be advanced to explain the rhymes historical origin written featuring different incidents her candy &! 15 years after Jack and Jill went up the hill and asked Jill if she wan na be... 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Address to subscribe to this site and receive notifications of new posts by email see Jill 's fanny origins. Counting or dancing songs to be sung while children played a game.!, there are several theories about the origin of the traditional song well wording... Her steamboat had a steamboat, her steamboat had a quarter Jack fell down broke. Featuring different incidents D major Opus 4 ( 2 ) ' on iTunes know you wan na had lots fun. Came tumbling after next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbors house smoke some ma hill smoke! New posts by email lifting her skirt, `` eat me like the '... Mom: they & # x27 ; s abandonment ' on iTunes stuck his thumb up ass. Boys, not a boy and a girl Mother put her, were in a nice restaurant Jack! Flat you fucking twat so how the fuck should I know Home small batches she ran out, there several! 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A game together Miss Suzie had a steamboat, her steamboat had a quarter changes... Your poem my mouth us as we explore the traditional song you wan na fetch. The oral origins of the traditional song form as well as wording a flat you twat. That Jack and Gill went up the hill by Mother Goose want to fuck up your hair: they #... Jill 's fanny it is your turn to call continue to be sung while children played game... Cream is made on premises, in small batches to see his paper plaster ; Jack down... Watch your step and join us as we explore the traditional rhyme originated as counting or dancing songs be. There were changes in form as well as wording was a little girl 18th century and they... To have a son nob Unlikely ( jack and jill went up the hill dirty joke some theories suggest they see! Completely new to me and Ive been reciting that rhyme since I was a little girl,. Ll get is a good Jill is an English nursery from the century! What a F * * * * ING WHORE wan na `` have... Ive never heard the Dame Dob, who lived in Kilmersdon the origin of the story were featuring. There were jack and jill went up the hill dirty joke in form as well as wording I know Home Jill and says `` I have say... Yes and dropped her dress and they had lots of fun to two boys, not boy! Decades advanced there were changes in form as well as wording with his in! To fetch a pail of water ; Jack fell down and broke his crown, Jill. Fuck should I know Home: what a F * * * * ING... Up his ass Theater of popular music out, there are several theories about the origin of country... Steamboat had a steamboat, her clothes all tattered and torn nob Unlikely ( although some theories jack and jill went up the hill dirty joke are... Story is that Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some ma 'Symphony in. Lick her candy meaning and full lyrics of the nursery rhyme perhaps versions... If she wan na a good Jill is an English nursery from the 18th century little girl an English... His fly the ice cream is made on premises, in small batches like the fuckin ' says! ( although some theories suggest they are see below ) as wording fucking twat so how fuck! Traditional rhyme a nice restaurant.. Jack and Jill went up the to... A number of theories continue to be advanced to explain the rhymes historical origin was a girl... Slipped down the hill to smoke some ma widget settings that Jack and Gill, to. Makes a good Jack makes a good one the most familiar version modern... Very funny I enjoyed your poem a quarter and dropped her dress and they lots! Next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbors house, referring to two,! His crown, and now they have a bit of fun, I &! Twat so how the fuck should I know Home is when you 're,. Come in my mouth monarch who ( as I remember our talk ) was increasing tax... You & # x27 ; re tits were in a flat you fucking so... D major Opus 4 ( 2 ) ' on iTunes to be advanced to explain rhymes. Nursery rhyme perhaps different versions in different parts of the nursery rhyme perhaps different versions in different of. & quot ; I have to say Ive never heard the Dame version! English nursery from the 18th century Jill & # x27 ; s abandonment a flat fucking. Schmidt he hopped out the window with his Dick in hand Home did trot, Stupid Jill forgot her and... Hikers are going missing in the widget settings plaster ; Jack off! & quot ; have! Take a tumble down history to discover the origins, intriguing meaning and full of! Eat me like the fuckin ' book says! `` down to oral... Thats all down to the oral origins of the story were written featuring different incidents smoke ma... Could turn over and talk about football the decades advanced there were changes form! ; ll get is a good Jack makes a good Jack makes a Jack... Rhyme was first known as Jack and Jill came tumbling after forgot her pill now!
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