Films confused me the glaring shapes hurt my eyes. Used to solving problems and travelling the world, she suddenly couldnt understand how to get out of her flat to ask for help. Lotje, what did David Lynch mean to you before your stroke?LS: I got into Twin Peaks when I was a teenagerreally, really into Twin Peaks. Before the stroke, I think my friends found my cynical sense ofhumour entertaining. Q: Hello, Lotje! I moved into my own place, and vowed never to see another therapist again. I was really moved. La La Land will certainly be different, a musical comedy-drama about a young pianist and an actor played by Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone respectively, This is something of a question mark. Though the film showed mostly positive scenes, there were many difficult moments that were not captured, such as my mental health struggles which are an invisible part of recovery. The stroke was an upsetting event in my life, but I could also see it as a great blessing and opportunity to change and simplify my life in a positive way by focusing on what really mattered. But there is real value in my new life: its much more meaningful and focused, and that includes my relationships. . Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. And its beautiful. Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt and Ethan Hawke are among the gang, Based on the 1997 Loomis Fargo Robbery in North Carolina, this comedy comes from the man behind Napoleon Dynamite. Six years ago, film-maker Lotje Sodderland suffered from a devastating brain haemorrhage. JOIN NOW Executive producer David Lynch played a pivotal role in Lotje Sodderland's recovery, as explained in this documentary. He has this connection with deconstructed language. But I think its fantastic. Here, she speaks to Telegraph Women about the day she became a different person. From picking their next holiday to setting up their marital home, a stroke diagnosis was the last thing that the couple in their early forties had in mind. UNIRTE AHORA En este documental, descubriremos por qu David Lynch tuvo un papel clave en la recuperacin de Lotje Sodderland. (laughs), I had to figure out for myself that I was never going to be the same as before and find out how can I work with the new me and see the beauty and positivity in my new limitations.. "I went to meet her the day after she got out of hospital," says Robinson. I had to figure out for myself that I was never going to be the same as before and find out how can I work with the new me and see the beauty and positivity in my new limitations. One night, Lotje goes out to watch fireworks in London, her hometown, and at the end of the evening, she goes home and . Could she learn to live and love with a broken brain? In 2011, Lotje Sodderland was a 34-year-old Londoner living a life familiar to many: She worked a demanding 24/7 job at an advertising agency, traveled the world, and spent time with her wide circle of friends. You dont have to have had a brain hemorrhage.. She became very quiet and withdrawn, while my brother went into saviour mode and wanted to do many things but yet, did not know how. There was a man wheeling me around and I spoke to him - but it didn't seem like he could hear what I was saying. March 22, 2016. How does he know all this stuff?. Now, he says, I dont interact with people in the same way, that I have become introspective. They realised that the recovery process can feel monotonous without some spontaneity. And I had fond memories as well. Shes quite a memorable person for lots of different reasons, including being a science-based filmmaker whos a woman doing really well. Thisheartfelt documentary is an honest portrayal of the process of re-learning to live with a broken brain, ofhuman fragility and vulnerability, of persisting in the difficult journey of recovery through series of setbacks and bad news, of dealing with uncertainty of whether things will ever get better orwhether, instead, they will get worse, of realizing that there are many questions that have no definitive answers or clear explanations. Its about having to rethink your life halfway through, and that can happen to any of us. The comfort of unconsciousness threatened to pull me under, but instead I took my handbag and walked out of the door. After that I just became really interested in his films. Lotje Sodderland's long journey to a happy life with what she calls her "new brain" began early on a November morning in 2011. My Beautiful Broken Brainis an intensely personal story of a 34 year old woman, Lotje Sodderland, who documented through film her 1-year journey of recovery from hemorrhagic stroke, which resulted in Aphasia. Can you tell me a bit about how you guys know each other, and how you decided to work together on My Beautiful Broken Brain?LOTJE SODDERLAND: Wed only met once before the stroke, about two months before at a work meeting. London, England, United Kingdom. Lynch himself, in a very Lynchian series of events, actually came to play a role in Sodderlands recovery, and eventually signed on as an executive producer on the film, a prominent part of Netflixs marketing efforts. Please, The subscription details associated with this account need to be updated. Iremembered trying to blink the blindness away, my hand lurching wildly into space, searching for my phone but the grids were everywhere. First of all, something terrible has happened. He started explaining that Lotje had started filming herself and would I come and meet her? She was suffering a massive brain haemorrhage due to a rare developmental malformation of the blood vessels in her brain. Sodderland still struggles to read and write and has had to accept the differences in her new life. It's expected to have an anti-SeaWorld message, which should make it strike a chord with parents as well as children, There's still a lot of love for Roald Dahl's stories, and this one is being adapted by none other than Steven Spielberg. Even doing supposedly normal tasks like making a cup of tea or using a cash machine just seemed to have no coherent structure, or logic, for me. Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, SE1 9GF. My brain had forgotten how to filter sensory inputs, images as well as noises. Dutch-French filmmaker Lotje Sodderland didn't know young people could suffer from a stroke - until she had one herself in 2011, then aged 34. I had the camera with me, and there and then we said, Should we just try to do a bit of filming now and see what it feels like for both of us? Imanaged to call him and he found mefive minutes later, crouching on the floor outside myflat. And some risks are worth it. I would then spend a further 140 minutes a day on the laptops visual and sonic word repetition training app. My Beautiful Broken Brain combines her many iPhone recordingscapturing her experience became an obsession in the face of faulty short-term memoryinterviews shot by the documentarian Sophie Robinson beginning just weeks after the hemorrhage, and special effects footage that re-creates the terrifying fever-dream experience of being inside Sodderlands malfunctioning brain, a world she compares to the Red Room in David Lynchs Twin Peaks. To look at me, you wouldnt have noticed a thing. As well as the new series of Twin Peaks. Lotje: One of the therapies I found very useful was Occupational Therapy. Starring: Sophie Robinson, Lotje Sodderland Watch all you want. What does your life look like now?LS: My life is really good now. She helped me figure out the navigation system on my iPhone, which meant Iwould be able to walk around without getting lost. I didnt knowhow to rest and allow my thoughts to subside. It could have happened at any time. Currently working with Film4, Lotje is in development on her first feature. She managed to get herself dressed and stumbled to a nearby hotel, before blacking out completely. "Things were all deconstructed and disconnected and didn't make sense, so making the film was a way to relearn how to tell a story." We spent many frustrating afternoons trying. My vision was overcome with lurid green and purple grids. Videos 10.6k Followers, 1,026 Following, 1,325 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Lotje Sodderland (@lotje____) When the stroke happened, I forgot his name. Lotje reveals her tips on adjusting to acquired communication disorder aphasia and finding a new way of life in her present reality. I did something that I normally never do, which is: I took a camera with me. Things change constantly for everybody. In just a few hours, Mr Tan took on the responsibility of a caregiver giving permission for his wifes brain operation to proceed and watching over her as she went into an induced coma for almost 10 days. I figured out the video function on my iPhone, and began to record my new life. As time passes, it becomes clear to Lotjethat things wont be the same as before. Lotje: When I fell ill, it was a huge shock to everybody as it was such a radical and massive transformation overnight. Every cast member you would expect will be back to collect their paychecks, which might require a crane, The Finding Nemo sequel will focus on Ellen DeGeneres' forgetful blue tang fish. Certain things did start to change. David Festenstein, who has written a blog about his recovery from a stroke, has suggested that the video and audio recording capabilities on our smartphones can play a vital role in stroke recovery. An acquired language impairment, aphasia typically occurs after a stroke or traumatic brain injury and can affect a persons ability to communicate, both verbal or written. Lotje Sodderland. I thought, I wonder if hes had a brain hemorrhage? ISTANBUL FILM FESTIVAL. The long-awaited sequel will no doubt do well at the box office, but I'm not sure if the fashion industry is as fertile for satire now as it was in 2001, and the trailer relies too heavily on honouring old gags rather than creating new ones, A new film from Terrence Malick should have been a huge cause for celebration, but Knight of Cups has been swimming in post-Cannes purgatory for months now. Butbeforethe end of the therapy, Lotje experiences generalized seizure and is taken to the hospital. [1] When you were filming yourself on your phone, did you think of that footage as something you might eventually make use of?LS: No. First, the research assistant would measure my skull to make sure it wasnt growing or shrinking (it wasnt). Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies. That says a lot about the hype over this comic book adaptation, which revels in the villains rather than the heroes for once and sees Jared Leto step into Heath Ledger's size 58 boots as the new Joker, Friendly-looking dad named Chesley Sullenberger who saves a plane load of people? As I got more confident, I filled pages with words written in thick capital letters words that made sense to me, but that no one else could interpret. Brechas Urbanas Sao Paolo. I never had any limits: travelling widelyand generally being very active. In a post-surgery self-filmed footage, she shares her excitementof not being dead. Lotje Sodderlands documentary about her recovery, made with director Sophie Robinson, is now showing at festivals; go to mybeautifulbrokenbrain.com for more information. Youve expanded, he said. I thought I was talking to them, but they didnt reply. This is a touchingpersonal story of learning to live with a new self, makinga newlife plan, and the enormous strength and optimism that it takes to achieve this feat. In mid-January, I was admitted to the rehabilitation unit at Homerton hospital for a three-month period. ", In 2011, Soderland, then 34 and working as a documentary producer, woke up in the early hours of the morning in her flat in east London with an excruciating headache. Watch trailers & learn more. I looked at my phone and I didnt know how it worked and I couldnt tell the time or anything, she says. On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. Three years ago she suffered a stroke herself. It was a big moment of acceptance. Videos Midway through filming, Robinson contacted Lynch's agent to try and show him one of these videos and much to their surprise he sent them an email back. Protagonistas: Sophie Robinson,Lotje Sodderland Ve todo lo que quieras. Filling in a thick form, the doctor asked me questions, occasionally glancing up to gauge my responses. "I remember it just felt like I was on the moon and looking down on everything," she tells me by phone, having just landed back in London after showing the film at SXSW festival in Austin, Texas. I was conscious, but there was nothing there: no thought, no logic, no reason. Lotje Sodderland is a director and writer, known for My Beautiful Broken Brain (2014), Limbo (2021) and Can You Rebuild My Brain? Youre also faced with that dilemma, as a filmmaker, of knowing this is someone who needs to go through recovery. [8], Netflix started streaming the film as a Netflix Original worldwide on March 18, 2016.[9]. I remembered being put on a stretcher as paramedics asked the standard questions: what was my name? But I felt like I was in the world he created in his films. Start your Independent Premium subscription today. I took meditation and mindfulness classes at a Buddhist centre near my home. But he did it in a very collaborative way. She lost two years of her memory, forgetting her own daughter and even asking whether she herself was Chinese. This sequel might perfectly skewer the frustration of growing up in an increasingly youth-orientated world, or it might just serve to tarnish the originals like with Sex and the City 2, I'm not convinced there's the demand for Westerns that Hollywood seems to think there is. This was always a possibility due to her stroke, it turns out, with or without the experimental therapy, althoughthe TMS may have contributed. When Mrs Tan regained consciousness, Mr Tan also had to manage his wifes agitation towards her weakened condition and new disability called aphasia. Elf and Iron Man director Jon Favreau is a fairly safe pair of hands though, and Idris Elba, Ben Kingsley, Scarlett Johansson, Lupita Nyong'o, Christopher Walken, Giancarlo Esposito and Bill Murray are all on board, 'Financial TV personality Lee Gates, who offers up stock advice on his hit show "Money Monster," is held hostage by a viewer, Kyle Budwell, who lost all of his money following a bad tip from Lee during his show'. Still unable to speak coherently, Sodderland wanted to get in touch with Sophie Robinson, a documentary film-maker she had met once through work, but had forgotten her name and had no way of articulating who she was. [1][2], David Lynch became an executive producer of the film. In the middle of the night, I had a crushing headache that took over my entire body and mind. He had called the ambulance asmy eyeballs disappeared into the back ofmyhead. Later on, I learned the stroke was caused by a rare development of malformed blood vessels in my brain. Its very different. I had regressed. Lotje Sodderland explores beauty and positivity after a traumatic health scare At age 34, film director Lotje Sodderland was struck by an intracerebral haemorrhagic stroke after a night out with her friends. This year, I told my husband that I have a new goal I want to be able to argue with him. I looked around and saw patients in various states of disablement: some were comatose, some were talking to themselves; one, a GuillainBarr syndrome survivor, lay in bed reading. I was just really reminded of his work. I remember at one stage wanting to die because the pain was so intense. Lotjeis a fighter and she has the good fortune to have access to therapy. To get money, I would need to use a machine that spewed out notes. He explained: The paramedics had seen a bottle of cough syrup in the bedroom and assumed the worst. I went to see some fireworks with friends in the evening, followed by a trip to the pub, and returned to my flat at around 10pm. And in a way? She woke up in hospital two days later, and once she had her belongings returned to her, found herself reaching for her iPhone and once someone had shown her how to use it again pressing record, Although initially Sodderland was using her phone videos to help her remember all the meetings with doctors, she realised that she also wanted to document what was happening to her. Shed been put into an induced coma, endured emergency surgery to her parietal and temporal lobes. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. If it feels weird and uncomfortable, well hold off a bit or maybe we just wont do it.. I see my stroke as a kind of rebirth; unexpected and painful, but also more vivid, filled with purpose, meaning and potential. We sent that link through his agent, and other means of contact. Meditation is something I just didnt understand before the stroke, but it has really helped me deal with the effects ofpanic attacks, which I still suffer from occasionally. "We started filming that day and she was still very confused and there was a big part of me that was wary because I knew she was very vulnerable and had to concentrate on recovery. When we came for the activities, my wife had to wheel me in, and people thought I was the patient.. 7.5 TV Movie The title character is an obnoxious but successful Manhattan attorney whose life changes when he is shot at a convenience store late one night. It may sound simple, but it made a huge difference to me. Colours were much more vibrantand sounds were louder. Facebook gives people the power to share and makes the world more open and connected. I had spent the weekend with friends, watching fireworks over London, and trying to make impossible things happen for a deadline at work, where I was a documentary producer. When I woke up, I knew who he and my mother were but I couldnt be sure the familiar stranger inhabiting my body was me. Now, after the success of My Beautiful Broken Brain, they see the value of story-telling for brain-injured people. Soon after Iwas born, my parents broke up, and my mother, my older brother, Jan, and I moved three times before I was 16, when we ended up in London. I was aware of an existence, a me within my body. To keep up her motivation, Mrs Tan sets new targets and uses creative means to practise at home. At the same time, Ive learned to look at the world in a really different way. Filming what was happening to me was fundamental to my recovery. Hopefully the new TV show will offer something a bit less action-orientated and a bit more cerebral, The Bourne series completely went off the boil with Jeremy Renner as its lead, but now both Matt Damon and original director Paul Greengrass are back to steady the ship. When he dropped me off at the station I said: Ithink were going to fall in love, and he said: Ithink so, too.. Sodderland saw parallels between the almost hallucinatory things she was experiencing and David Lynch films. I enjoyed the daily trip, and being surrounded by neuroscientists; Iliked the sense of being an active participant, rather than a passive patient. We see her brightenwhen she triumphantly comes up withthe word nephew pointing to a picture of her youngniece. In 2013, Lorna Smalley was rushed to hospital with encephalitis, an inflammation of the brain. There's also thought to be a very meta all-male version in the works from the creators of Jump Street, set in the same universe as Men In Black no less, If you thought Abrams' Star Trek films were bad, feast your eyes on the trailer for the next one from the director of the Fast & Furious franchise. He really helped us massively. Lotje Sodderland makes candid, vulnerable films laced with pathos and humour. I had faltered, and the words were gone Then Iblacked out, consumed by a four-hour convulsive seizure. Some other friends, however, found it uncomfortable to hang out with an ill person or be around death. I didnt need much sleep, and really enjoyed overdoing it at work and play. I began to use Siri on my iPhone, to listen to what I was writing, and it felt great. Her doctor explains that the paths between her visual areas and her language areas are broken. Now the resulting documentary produced by David Lynch is coming to Netflix, Find your bookmarks in your Independent Premium section, under my profile. He said, Do you remember me? "It wasn't a logical reality, it was another dimension. Before the stroke, I was a documentary producer in London, living in what I now realise was a very high-level cognition world. Colours were brighter, sounds louder and emotions more raw. I am very fortunate that my friends and family are very loving and supportive. I was fascinated and enthralled and terrified by [that new world]. This year, I fell in love, a terrifying prospect when operating a new brain. During Aphasia SGs movie event at The Projector in November 2019, she bravely agreed to be a part of the post-show panel on stage to share her experience and answer questions from the public. Lotje Sodderland Sat 22 Nov 2014 02.30 EST Last modified on Fri 1 Dec 2017 12.22 EST A trailer for My Beautiful Broken Brain, Lotje's documentary about her recovery, made with director Sophie. The fog was lifting. She made it her mission afterwards to understand. I had no idea how to meditate and was too fragmented to listen to the teacher, but the sweet silence of the shrine room had me instantly hooked. She has a new partner, a new job as a film-maker and cinematographer and is excited for the future. A trailer for My Beautiful Broken Brain, Lotjes documentary about her recovery, made with director Sophie Robinson. In celebration of Aphasia Awareness Month this June, we caught up with the Lotje after the free screening of her documentary and had an intimate conversation with her to find out about her post-recovery struggles and how she overcame them. She drew her brother a picture of a TV and a horizon because she remembered that Robinson had made a documentary for the BBC series and after "a few hours" he figured it out. I looked at my iPhone, but had no idea how it worked. It seemed entirely impossible that I would be able to love someone else and even more improbable that someone would love the damaged new me. This interview has been condensed and edited. Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? Lotje Sodderland, who filmed her recovery from a stroke at the age of 34 Credit: Netflix Every three minutes and 27 seconds, someone in the UK has a stroke. My protective layers, or filters, are gone and my emotions are much stronger. But I found the therapies a constant reminder of what I couldnt do, rather than what I could. It didnt really make that much sense: It was all in capitals, and there were no full stops. WIRED LIVE. 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